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This article is called “INVALID OR INVALID.” I guess you will think this is a funny name for an article. It    appears that I am using the same word twice. In reality I am not. These are 2 separate words that look the same and are spelled the same. Each word has a different definition and meaning. But I do intend on showing how I believe they are connected. Maybe a few definitions will explain what I am talking about. One is a noun, and one is an adjective.


These definitions comes from Invalid: someone who is bedridden or too frail to leave home. That is they may not be handicaped or crippled but for… handicapped: someone (in this context) who has a permanent marked reduction in ability. It usually refers to some one… crippled: this seems to me the more common word in the past for physically ‘handicapped’. (it was only ever used…


Definition comes from “The main uses of this word have to do with people and things that don’t work very well anymore. A driver’s license that has expired is invalid — it needs to be renewed. If you lost your health insurance, it’s invalid. People who are called invalids are disabled or incapacitated severely. Be careful with this word, because some think it is inappropriate, since it sounds as if some people are not as valid as others based on physical capability.” “The license is invalidSynonyms: expired having come to an end or become void after passage of a period of time, adjective, having no cogency or legal force. 


Think about that question for a moment because it happens all the time. Am I talking about a person’s value and worth? YES, I AM. Many will say when the person is no longer productive, they become “INVALID” to the society, families, and they world. Their usefulness becomes void and worthless, in this present world. 



Where does the real battle start? IN THE MIND AND IN THE EMOTIONS! If you want to see a prime example of this, just look at Joe Biden. (HE AIN’T ALL THERE). Now here is a statement for “aconciousrethink.”Emotional invalidation can be a painful, sometimes abusive, experience when you’re just looking for someone to acknowledge how you feel. The harm that emotional invalidation causes fosters distrust and resentment between people. That’s particularly troublesome when it’s friends or family who refuse to acknowledge the validity of your feelings.” (YOU DON’T MATTER, THEY CAN AND WILL CRIPPLE YOU MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. THEY WILL CONTROL YOU, AND BLAME YOU FOR IT.)

People may be mentally and emotionally invalidating you because they don’t know how to be supportive or accepting. Understand hope is related to trust and invalidating someone, destroys a person’s mental and emotional hope and trust. (This is also a common tool of “ABUSERS.“). There are more ways to “cripple or handicap” people, other than physically. In addition, peoples mental and emotional invalidation, is a TOOL of control that abusers use to manipulate their victims. In my humble opinion this is downright and outright “CRUEL AND DEGRADING” because the ABUSER is trying to take away the persons, PERSONHOOD.

Here are some fundamental emotional needs, that people DO NEED: To be acknowledged.1. To be accepted.
2, To be listened to. 3.To be understood. 4.To be loved. 5.To be appreciated. 6.To be respected. 7.To be safe.
8.To be valued. 9.To be worthy. 10.To be trusted. 11.To feel capable and competent. 12.To feel clear (instead of confused). 13.To be supported.

Then there are the failures of communication and the blame game. BOY IS THIS COMMON IN RELATIONSHIPS. Let’s see some of them: Stop that stupid crying and whining. I am tired of hearing this. Don’t be sad. That’s not a big deal. Get over yourself. Everything happens for a reason. It’s always about you and what you want.  Let it go. You’re taking it too personally. Don’t you think you’re overreacting? It’ll pass. Why do you make a big deal out of everything? Well, it could be worse. I SAY “TASTE YOUR WORDS BEFORE YOU SPEAK THEM. ARE THEY BITTER OR SWEET?” Words do hit as hard as fist. Some abuse, mental and emotional damage, cannot be un-done. And no apology will un-do that damage. Things like this does NOT VALIDATE a person, they only destroy the persons own personal validation of themselves. 

There are actually many people who do not have the intelligence or the skill to know how to deal properly with another person’s feelings and emotions. They just do not want to hear it or share. People have become so insensitive to the needs and sharing of others. To many are only concerned about their OWN wants, needs, and desires. They have their own need and wants for you to validate them. But they also live on a one-way street. They will take it but not give it. I actually know some people who are so FULL OF THEM SELF, They, are truly BLINDED to others. Their MENTALITY IS THIS: “I AM WONDERFUL AND I AM GREAT. I AM SUPER INTELLIGENT AND YOU ARE NOT. JUST ASK ME AND I WILL TELL YOU.” YOU SHOULD BE HONORED JUST TO BE IN MY LIFE. WHEN YOU HAVE AN OPINION THEN I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. YOUR DUTY IS TO CONSTANTLY VALIDATE THEM, BUT DO NOT EXPECT THE SAME IN RETURN.”

Danielle Bernock, said this, and I totally agree. “Trauma is personal. IT DOES NOT DISAPPEAR, if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally, heard only by the one held CAPTIVE.” To many times when the person tries to deal with the person causing the trauma, it only escalates the conflict. I have seen way too many become aggressive, combative, and violent to others. I have seen non-stop vulgar abuse of others. One of the saddest things I ever heard was this: A very Godly woman begging and begging her abusive husband and saying, “PLEASE, PLEASE STOP. I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, IF YOU WILL JUST STOP CALLING ME VULGAR NAMES AND CURSING ME.” HE CONTROLLED HER AND MANIPULATED HER, UNTIL THE VERY DAY HE DIED! Some people LIVE in TRAUMA Every day. And the VICTIM feels powerless. In cases like this “THE SILENT TREATMENT WOULD BE A REAL BLESSING! PLEASE UNDERSTAND ONE THING. A LIFE OF TRAUMA DOES NOT JUST DISAPPEAR OVER-NIGHT.


We are all humans with wants, needs and desires. We are all mental and emotional creatures. Every person on earth has the want, need, and desire to beACCEPTED.” In reality what I have said about the mental and emotional validation of each person is about our being “ACCEPTED FOR WHO WE ARE.” Yes, we are all flawed creatures, none of us are perfect and we all make big mistakes, especially in relationships. But too many times in relationships, one individual will project their own weaknesses on to the other person. Too many have this great want, need and desire to “FEEL SUPERIOR” to others. They really do have a need to make someone feel “INFERIOR.” The reason for this, is that they themself, must keep their own feeling of Superiority above everyone else.

Living this way in the long term, makes us wonder if there is something wrong with us, for feeling the way we do. This undermines self-confidence because it causes self-doubt. This in turn further diminishes self-esteem. It does cripple and damage others mentally and emotionally. The ABUSERS GOAL IS TO INTIMIDATE, CONTROL AND MANIPULATE OTHERS. THEY BECOME THE LORD OR KING OVER EVERYONE ELSE. THAT IS ARROGANCE, PRIDE AND EGO. THEY ONLY WANT THEIR OWN PRIDE AND EGO FED.

I did counseling for many years. I have actually heard men say to their own wives, “YOU ARE WORTHLESS, AND YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE ME. BUT YOU CAN BE REPLACED.” This is an attack on someone’s PERSONHOOD, NOT JUST A VALADITION ISSUE. (THAT IS NOT TRUST, RESPECT OR LOVE). Some people are malicious and really do not care if they DESTROY “YOUR” mental and emotional health. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF PSYCHOLOGICAL MURDER? I titled this article Invalid or Invalid. See, you mental and emotional health care, truly can cripple you, handicap you, and take away your physical, mental and emotional health. When it is physically, many say someone is an Invalid.  I call it handicap, OR Damaged. 

Dera Reader, There is something that I need to make clear. If you are a Christian, then you really need to understand what I say here, (especially to men.) GOD GAVE US OUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS. God gave us the standard for men and women to live by and how to treat each other. Ephesians 5: 25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” God has never ACCEPTED abuse, (PHYISCAL, MENTAL, OR EMOTIONAL). A relationship based on manipulation, abuse, “TRAUMA” is INVALID AND VOID. Even our present legal system has laws against this, and also allows the “VICTIMS” the right to be free. 

Dear reader, when I said “DAMAGED” I DO NOT MEAN WORTHLESS. In reality, we are ALL DAMAGED. In our present world and society, I do not know how anyone makes it without GOD. We live every day in a wicked, vile society that demonstrates the immoral, vulgar and destructive behaviors. It has become acceptable and a way of life for many. The Bible says in Isaiah 64:8 “But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.” God totally accepts broken damaged people. He is the potter and we are the clay. God can re-make anyone if they want to be. He will right now if you will cry out and ask him to save you and re-make you. Here is truth. We have ALL screwed up in our lives. God says that is SIN. WE ARE THE SINNERS-JESUS IS THE SAVIOR-HE CAME TO SAVE SINNERS AND RE-MAKE US. JESUS PAID THE DEBT FOR OUR SINS SO THAT WE CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FATHER. ROMANS 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?

Your thoughts opinions and comments are welcome so leave them below in the comment section below. RAY


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