blind love (Large)If your eyes are open can you see? Not if you are blind. You may still have sight, but still be blind to certain things. There is a popular phrase used today. The phrase is, “Love Is Blind.” I have to ask is this true love? Can blind love be true love or real love all at the same time? I have been amazed to find the various opinions regarding this question.

My research shows the origin of this phrase ( love is blind) is first found in the writings of Chaucer’s, “Merchants Tale,” circa in 1405 stating, ” For loue is blynd alday and may nat see.” This phrase then was picked up by William Shakespeare and used commonly in at least 3 of his own plays in 1596.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary states a definition of Blind is: ” adjective \ˈblīnd\ : unable to see, unable to notice or judge something, accepting the actions or decisions of someone or something without any questions or criticism. Unable or unwilling to discern or judge.”

The dating relationship is a complex thing in our society and I want address Love Is Blind in this area. I still cringe every time I hear someone say, ” I have fallen in love.” I know if you fall in love then more than likely you will fall out of love. I say this because love does not fall, True Love Grows over time, not instantly.

BLINDED TO LOVE

In the dating relationship many are blinded to love and clearly do not see. It means they see only what they want to see. They cannot see what others see and do not want to hear what others have to say. Even the advice of family and friends is rejected. They become so overwhelmed and do not realize what is going on in the world. It becomes  easy to make this other person their new world.

More than being blinded to their mates flaws, faults and failures your love see’s the perfect person for you. Lovers are too often unwilling to face reality and self deception. They cannot see the truth. Their feelings have put a blindfold over the truth.

Psychologytoday.com says,”Lovers are often blind to the beloved’s negative traits and tend to create an idealized image of the beloved. We often love the idealized object rather than the real one. Are we then blind when we fall in love and when we maintain it?”

FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS BLIND YOU

Feelings and emotions are real and it is easy to allow feelings and emotions to over power your logic and reasoning. Feelings and emotions do override the brain, the thought and reasoning process. They become blinded over common sense and often say, ” But this feels so right.”

Modern day research supports these facts. It shows that Blindness of Love in not just a figurative matter. A research study in 2004 by University College London,” found that feelings of love suppressed the activity of the area’s of the brain that controls critical thoughts.”

“Infatuation, passion, romance, sex and strong desires can easily run out of control with blind love.These blind people to many consequences that were not planned for. Abusive and destructive relationships often develop while quick decisions are made without logically and mentally considering them. They are based on the blinded  feelings and emotions that prevail.” Those are the findings of the study.

MAJOR DECISIONS AND BLIND LOVE

Here is my humble opinion and what I have learned in life. Never make a major decision in life when you are feeling high or low. You cannot make such an important decision without your feelings and emotions influencing that decision. Major decisions based on feelings and emotions will never be the right decision.

Blind love will blind you. When major decisions are based on feelings and emotions, the mind and logical thinking are not being used. The thought process is altered. You are not thinking normally. Your feelings and emotions are controlling the thought process. You cannot make any objective decision with objective truth. 

Let me give you an example. I have done this and so have you. I am hurt, angry or upset, So what will I do? 9am- I will cry it out. 2pm- Now it’s my turn, I will get even. I will cut their head off. 6pm-I love them so much. 9pm- I will ruin them. 11pm-Come back, I need you. What caused this kind of thinking?

As your feelings and emotions change during the day, so does your thoughts and decisions.

Have you ever been on a roller coaster ride? It goes up, it goes down. It goes sideways then up and down again. Too many people live on an emotional roller coaster. Their lives and decisions go up and down. Up and down depending on how they feel at that moment. Blind love will keep you on that emotional roller coaster.

RUDE AWAKENING-REALITY

Many times you finally get a wake up call and come back to reality. At this time you discover the truth and what kind of relationship you are in. Something has happened. Your mind starts to see things logically. You recognize the reality of the situation. The blindness is over.

Hopefully, hurt, pain and consequences have not been destructive up to this point. Then you question yourself and ask, ” How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so blind?” You see, for too many, bad attention is better than no attention. A bad love is better than no love. This is what holds women in abusive relationships.

CONCLUSION

Blind love is not true love. It is not real love. Blind love is based primarily on feelings, infatuation and emotions. It is based on what you want as an ideal love. It is not based on full reality. There is a popular song by “Eve” that says, “Love is Blind, it”ll take over your mind.” Do you see love as some invisible force that takes you over? Some force that controls you. Guides every step down some unseen path where simple logic has been discarded.

True love is never blind. Blind love becomes an obsession and only looks at the heart and emotions. True love must involve the Mind, the will and the emotions. Understand also, no one way relationship will ever grow and prosper. I hope these words will open someone’s eyes and save them from paying heavy consequences from blind love.                                                                                                                   

All comments and opinions are welcome. If I can help you leave a message and let me know. 

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Meryl Stone

    Oh this article hit me between the eyes.
    I have been having an on and off relationship with a man in another state for almost 2 anda half years.
    It started as alias as a threesome and based on Sex. He developed strong feelings for me and I for him.
    I dissolved it 2 x and him the once. Recently we got back together again and had one night of pure unadulterated sex. hehas shared many memories of his past with me, all about his family, his feelings and this time discussed planning the future with me and what he wants to do as far as a relationship goes. I panicked I think. Reality of leaving everything I have family home job on a whim with a man that is unemployed, overweight, unmotivated, and totally obsessed with me made me wake up to reality.
    I have hurt him. I take 50% responsibility of this whole affair. Was I blinded by infatuation, lust and confused this with true love? Or was this true love but I wasn’t willing to leave the comfort of my present life and risk it all to be with him?
    So confused and sad for him. I really believe his love for me was pure and true but mine was clouded. I just couldn’t give him what he wanted and so truly needed.

    1. Ray

      Dear Meryl, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I do appreciate all that you have said and there are others who have been through this also. I think your decision to stay and not go to this man, had a lot to do with self-preservation. Love is NOT someone being Obsessed with you. Obsession is totally different than love. The obsessed one is looking to have someone or something and control it or them. You were correct to ask yourself, “WHAT DID HE HAVE TO OFFER” in a relationship?

      A real relationship is a 2 way street, not a one way street. So, what did he have to offer in the relationship except his obsession and sex. In a real relationship there must be trust, respect and responsibility. If you do not have these three then you have nothing. I am not condemning the man, I am just observing according to what you have said. It sounds like he had very little to offer and would expect you to supply and be the bread winner. I could never ask a woman to give up everything and do that. Here is what I think will really help you. I think you will see what you really had with this man. Please come back to my website and read my article called “WHAT IS TRUE LOVE.” You will see the 4 different kinds of love then easily be able to see what you really had. I DO BELIEVE THIS WILL SETTLE THE QUESTIONS FOR YOU. I hope to hear from you again. RAY

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