Somebody To Love

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I think we all start looking for, Somebody To Love from the moment we are born. This also starts the process of Socialization in each of us. I am going to talk about looking for somebody to love and socialization. We are all social creatures, we were made that way. It is part of who are.

Some babies start their socialization before they are born. They are in the mother’s womb, kicking, screaming, scratching and saying, “LET ME OUT!” Many parents can identify with this. Just so you will know, I am going to use some humor in this article.                                                                                                  a-beautiful-day-to-enjoy-the-wildlife-refuge_w725_h483

Here is a definition of Socialization by “Merriam-Webster Dictionary.” “Medical Definition of SOCIALIZATION. The process by which a human being beginning at infancy acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of society through education and training for adult status.”

“Dictionary.com” says, Socializations is, ” 1. A continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. 2. The act or process of making socialistic, the socialization of industry.”

The Start Of Socialization And Love

I was not present at the very first human socialization event. I can only speculate. According the Bible, God caused Adam to go into a deep sleep, took out a rib and made woman from it. When Adam woke up, God introduced Adam to Eve (socialization). God performed the very first marriage Himself, in the Garden of Eden.

A friend of mine, named Frank told me, Adam looked at God and said, “I want my rib back.” I think he was speculating or exaggerating. Franks wife heard the comment and Frank did not eat well for a week.

Here is the truth of the first socialization event, according to the Bible. I believe this is something so many have overlooked. Genesis Chapter 1 describes the creation of everything created for mankind. That takes in day 1 through day 5 of creation. On day 6 of creation, Man, (Adam) was created in the image of God.

God gave Adam dominion and control over ALL He (God) had created. Adam was smart, he named all the animals. Can you do that? Adam walked with God, Adam talked with God personally. Adam had an ideal fellowship and relationship with God. Try and imagine that. How “COOL” would it be to walk and talk with God each day? What gifts did God give Adam?God gave Adam all that He had created for him. WOW.

As smart as Adam was, God was smarter and knew more. (KJV Genesis 2:18) “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” God in His INFINITE WISDOM knew something was missing. God knew it even if Adam did not. God knew Adam needed Somebody To Love. Somebody just like himself.

All that Adam was given was not enough. Walking with God was not enough. God did not want Adam to be ALONE. Adam had a NEED for a mate. Somebody he could share everything with, his life, love and intimacy. Someone to Love. Eve was a great gift from God. A gift that completed Adam. I do not think Adam knew he was incomplete. Adam was also God’s gift to Eve.                                                                                        10154560_10152339659706335_2412757225533980546_n

Eve was created EQUALLY with Adam, but each had separate roles. They were different physically and emotionally. Adam was given the leadership role (not a dictatorial role). They complemented each other. They needed each other.

I have a few questions to ask. Why would any man use or abuse God’s gift to him? If you are given such a gift, don’t you want to know everything about that gift, or person? Do you really think you can improve on what God created? Someone is going to say, “I don’t need a man or a woman. All I need is myself.” All I can say to that is, “Good luck in finding joy, happiness and a fulfilled life.”

Modern Society And Finding Somebody To Love

We have come a long way in today’s society since the time of Adam and Eve. We live in a high tech, fast paced society and socialization is at a new level. The basic want, need and desire for socialization has not changed. Male and female alike still look for somebody to love.

I want to share with you what I hear over and over. I hear this in chat repeatedly on the internet.

1. I am tired of feeling and being all alone. I did not know it would be this hard.

2. I want somebody I can talk to and be with. I want to share everything with them.

3. I really want to find that special someone that will love me for who I am, the way I am.

4. I don’t have any real friends, they always leave. What hurts the most are the one’s that promised they would always be there for me. Have I lost everyone?

5. I need someone to love me when I am at my worst. Someone that will make me feel better.

6. If a man won’t love me, I will take a woman or anybody.

7. I want someone to love me only. I am afraid of being hurt again.

8. I want to love someone that belongs to me.

9. Does love only happen in the movies?

10. I am too ugly for someone to love. I just have to live with it.

These statements come from men and women both. Both men and women still have the same wants, desires and needs.

What Does It Take To Find Somebody To Love

Our busy hi-tech society has bought into a false premise and false image of love. Hollywood is still Hollywood. You have the so called “STARS” that have it all together. The beautiful people. They have the money, star power, fame and fulfillment in life. They always have the handsome man or gorgeous woman hanging off their arm.

Hollywood, media, music, and the movie industry have influenced this. Everyone female today, needs to look like a model. Every male, should be handsome and have a rock hard body. Anyone that lives in this society know that sex sells. It always has, it is just more acceptable today. The false concept is, this is what it takes to ATTRACT the opposite sex. This is what everyone wants and needs. This is what will make somebody want me.

What is one of the largest fads and industry today? Diet. Diet foods, diet drinks, diet pills. This diet, that diet. The diet plan of the stars. Lose weight fast. Secrets to lose weight fast. It is a multi billion dollar industry. So is the cosmetic industry. It is looking your best and making yourself more desirable and attractive.

The truth is it deals with the “External” more than the “Internal.” Yes, you can lose weight, feel better, look better and increase your self esteem. Then maybe you can find somebody to love you. The models and stars have the same insecurities. When they look in the mirror, they do not see themselves as gorgeous or handsome.

Money, fame, and popularity, does not take away who they are inside. They are just as human with faults and failures. They separate and divorce. They cry and feel rejection. They face the same problems as anyone else. The pressure and stress on the stars may be greater to perform. They want somebody to love and love them.

What is the cost of temporary fame? Looking attractive, beautiful and desirable? Keeping up the persona. Multiple cosmetic surgeries. A nose job, a boob job, a butt lift and many more. The famous always have a privacy issue. The press, media and Paparazzi never leave them alone. Don’t forget, they commit suicide also.

Instantly Find Somebody To Love

We have become an “Instant Society.” Quick and fast. What do you have? Digital cell phones, Social media, the latest hi-tech devices for communication and contact. We still have the social gatherings and the bars and clubs. The internet is tremendous. You can find social contact. There are thousands of dating sites, pick and choose.                                                                                                                                                            crowd-feeding-the-dolphins_w725_h544

Relationships have also become “Instant.” Many choose this with a quickie, a one night stand, or sex. I personally do not think it is very fulfilling in the long term. I do think it has become a substitute for what people really desire and need. In other words, Bad love is better than no love.” But, it is socially acceptable.

The Elderly And Somebody To Love

It is a known fact, as you age things change. The quality of life changes also. You are no longer young and robust or have the strength you once had. With the elderly they have more days behind them than they do in front of them. Physical and sexual changes also decrease. More so for women than men. This does not mean they no longer have wants, needs and desires.

Many elderly have outlived or lost a spouse. They may re-marry or choose to be alone. Too many suffer the same pain of feeling, no longer productive or valuable. Many choose to be alone and adapt well to it. They can lock the doors and run around the house naked. They can be naked all day if they choose. They like being responsible only to themselves.

They can go where they want, when they want. Get up or sleep when they choose. They can also choose the social contact they desire or do not desire. They find a freedom and independence they enjoy. It is always nice to use your age, to keep from doing what others want you to do. This does not mean they have lost, wants, needs, desires, feeling and emotions. Friendship may mean more than physical intimacy.

Conclusion

From Adam and Eve to this present time there have been many generations. There have been a few constants in every generation. Life, Love, Socialization, Wants, Needs and Desires. Human Nature is also a constant that has never changed. Every person that has been born is Physical, Mental, Emotional. Spiritual and Social. This is how we are.

Social values and standards have changed. Human beliefs and behaviors may have changed with it. But the desire for social contact remains. There may be different stages of socialization in our life. I know socialization starts at birth, but I am not aware of any time when the process would end. I know it is a life long process and so is Love.

I believe socialization is the medium that leads us to contact with others. It is part of our very nature. We are social creatures and always have been. It does not matter if you are young or old. Rich or poor, famous or not. This is the process we use to find, SOMEBODY TO LOVE. That is what everyone truly wants and desires.

Your thoughts, opinions and comments are welcome. Leave them here. If I can help you then leave a message.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Lyn

    Hi Ray, thanks again for another nice post. Yes, socialization and that need for somebody to love and somebody to love us in return is a life long process but the sad fact is that, as we keep looking for love, we also keep hurting ourselves in the process, but well, isn’t it what makes life worth living???

    I am looking forward to your next article….Keep writing

  2. Ray

    Thank you Lyn, Everyone looks for love and acceptance. That is part of who we are. I will keep writing.

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