What is a person saying when they say, “Show Me Love?” Have you ever said this or some other variation like, “Prove It.” This will depend on the individual. Is this a male or a female making this statement? The word show, is an action word. It means, display it, do something and show me. Take some action. Do not just tell me with words. Actions speak’s louder than words.
I believe women need to be shown love, more than men. I think women will say this more than men do. Men and women define and express love in different ways. This is a requirement for women. This brings joy, happiness and meaning to the woman’s life. Everyone knows men and women are different in so many ways. Do men and women really understand each other?
Women say, “Show Me Love,” more than men. This is a woman’s wants, needs and desires. I am going to address this article to the female perspective. I hope to show why women say this more than men. It will involve how women are and “What Women Want.” Men need to understand that women are not robots or sex slaves. Their needs are different. Women are emotional and rely on feelings. This is a large part of her and how she functions.
Men, You do not have to have Hollywood looks, money, or power to attract a woman. Large homes, boats and fancy cars are fine. Women prefer Honesty and a sense of humor. An emotional connection is more attractive.
What Women Want
1. Women want a man who is a leader, not a dictator. A man who takes his relationship and responsibility seriously. A man who is committed to his woman and desires to meet her needs. He is the man that wants to do things together. He is the man that wants to be with her and share intimately.
2. Women want a man who will appreciate her for who she is. Not just a girlfriend, wife, or mother. Neither for what she can do for him or give to him. Every woman needs to know that she is valued, loved and respected. Every woman wants to feel that she is special to her man.
3. Women want Affection and Romance. Men associate love and romance with sex, women do not. Men are more physical. Women are more emotional. Women are passionate. How do you make her feel? Not just in bed but all the time. Feelings and emotions are number one with women. Concerning sex, women need a reason for sex, men only need a place.
4. Women want Communication. Women are saying, “I want you to talk to me. I want you to listen. I want a two way conversation.” Women want to communicate and share their thoughts, feelings and emotions. For women this is part of the bonding process. Communication is intimate for women.
A man will sit down with his woman. He see’s her. Her mouth is moving, she is speaking. But he does not hear anything she is saying. His body is there but his mind is somewhere else. We know this is not real communication. Later she will say, ” I told you about this, we discussed it-remember?” Is this real communication?
My friend Dan works in computer analysis. He told me in computer terms. “I come home from work and walk in the door. All I want to do is sit down and rest. My wife is downloaded all day, now she wants to update me. This runs me crazy.”
I keep saying over and over, “The most important thing you will ever give anyone, is your own personal attention. Women crave this! I have made this statement before. Bad communication is better than no communication. Here is why I have said this. I see men and women who argue or fuss about the same things over and over. This is bad communication but at least they are communicating.
They finally reach a level and say, “I am sick of arguing.” So they shut up and do not talk. There is no communication at this point. They quit talking, quit communicating then lose interest in each other. Relationships do not last long when this happens. Neither do marriages.
Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco states in “The Female Brain” that “A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.”
“The Female Brain” has made quite a splash since its publication last month, and this word-count claim is one of the most striking facts supporting her argument that the female brain is “a lean, mean communicating machine.” The 20,000 vs. 7,000 numbers have been cited in reviews all over the world, from The New York Times to the Mumbai Mirror. This is a need for women. Men need to understand that women are wired differently.
5. Women want Honesty and Respect. A faithful man (fidelity). When there is mistrust in a relationship, it always hinders growth and progress. When confidence is lost, it is generally replaced with fear. Acceptance is questioned. Respect is lost. Suspicion and anxiety start to prevail. It is hard to respect someone you do not trust. Once trust and respect are lost in a relationship, it’s hard to get it back. This is a character issue for women.
6. Women want Security. This is more than wanting a provider or protector. Security mean more than a safe home and environment. Security is more than financial security and protection from harm. Women want emotional security. Women want security in their relationship or marriage. Women want to feel safe and protected in their relationship. This is a woman’s stability. The opposite of security is insecurity.
7. Women want a Commitment. Not just to a relationship, marriage or family. More than anything, women hunger for a man that will meet their needs. Women want deep emotional intimacy. This is the real commitment a woman wants. Women want that emotional connection and closeness. This validates a woman’s worth and gives her great value. This is her Joy and Happiness.
I’m not a Relationship Therapist. I do not hold any PH.D in Psychology. I do not claim to be an expert or an authority on Love. I do have a Bachelor’s Degree in Education. I have done individual and family counseling for many years. I do use the approach of Nouthetic Counseling. My opinions and advice comes from one on one and face to face contact, with individuals and couples.
Questions For Men
I concentrated this article on What women want. I showed seven of the basic needs of women. I realize there are more. These are the basics and the foundation for a great relationship. Here’s some suggestions for men.
1. How much do you really know about women? We know we function differently. Be willing to learn more and understand how a woman operates. Why does a woman do the things she does? Have we reached a place where we no longer need to learn more or improve ourselves?
I know someone is thinking, I don’t need help or improvement. I dated for years. I have been in many relationships. Or, I have been married for a long time. I know what my wife wants and needs. I know how to make my woman happy. I really hope you do. I still learn more everyday, about women.
2. Men and Women are both Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual. Men and women are different in these area’s. Learn to realize and value the differences.
3. Men and women have different skills. Men think more with their heads. Women think more with their heart. Men have a need to accomplish something. Men have a need to be successful. How successful are you in your relationship or marriage?
4. What position does your woman hold on your “To Do List?” For any woman, loneliness is a “Killer.” We are all Social Creatures. Can you spell depression? Do you assume she will always be there waiting for you? Do you spend more time with the guys or your projects than you do your woman? How much one on one, personal time, do you give your women each day?
5. Where does your woman fit into your life? Is she included in your lifestyle? Do you share her interest or just yours? If you have a family and kids, these questions apply. What are your priorities? What takes up your time? As I have heard many times, “I work, I pay bills, I come home. I rest, watch Television. I mow the yard and lots of other chores. I am providing and showing my love this way. Me being the provider, shows I love.”
I just asked the men a lot of questions. Questions concerning their lives and love. My intent is not to downgrade men. My intent is to help men think or evaluate their own relationship. I do believe men love their women, but there are so many problems in relationships. Understanding each other and how each functions, is a major problem.
Our divorce rate is between 40% and 50% in America. The divorce rate is climbing. Statics show many in their second and third marriage, are divorcing again. We have problems in our RELATIONSHIPS between men and women. This is true for single and married relationships.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Of the marriages that end in divorce, 80 percent of the divorces are initiated (filed) by women.
2 out of every 3 divorces are initiated by women in America. What are the reasons or causes? Look at the list of women’s needs I listed. You will find them. There are other reasons women leave. Those on my list are major reasons. This is why I focused on the needs of women. Mens needs are just as important and I will deal with them in another article.
I started this article with, Show Me Love. I have asked another question, “What do women want?” Here is the answer. SHOW ME LOVE-MEET MY NEEDS! This is what real love means to women. I am not blaming men for every breakup, separation, failed relationship or divorce. Men leave relationships and file for divorce too.
I do believe there needs to be a better communication between men and women. Recognizing their differences and how each functions. Understanding each others wants and needs. Too many feel neglected, used and abused. No one wins. The hurt, pain and devastation affect’s themselves, others and families.
Women do leave relationships and marriages. This is common in our society. They will also go search for someone else and say, “Show Me Love-Meet My Needs.”
Your thoughts, opinions and comments are welcome. Leave them here. If I can help you let me know.