I Love You With All My Heart. That is a powerful statement. This statement is common place and used every day. Have you ever made that statement to anyone? More importantly, have you ever felt that way? Why would you say this to someone? It has to be feelings, emotions, wants, needs and desires.
I think when someone make this statement they are saying certain things. I want you, I need you. You are my world, you are my everything. You are my heartbeat. I am yours, I give myself to you. You are all I ever wanted and needed. I promise to love you forever.
Where Does Love Start
Love is a basic human emotion felt by everyone. I believe everyone is born with the capacity to love. Love is a natural instinct within us. I will have to agree, love does develop in everyone’s life as they grow and mature. There is a learning process concerning love as any individual grows.
When a child is born, he or she has needs that must be met. The child is totally dependent upon the parent. It does not take too many months for the child to become attached to their parents. The child depends on the parents for love, comfort, security, protection, and all their basic needs. The child bonds with their parents.
If I asked the women, “Who is the first man you ever loved?” They would have to say, “My dad.” That should be the answer. Unfortunately, in too many single parent homes there is no dad to love. Girls will always be, Daddy’s little girl. Boys will always be, Mommas boy. These are the feelings and the love of a parent.
As children grow they develop their concept of what a man or woman is. This concept comes from the father figure in their life or their mom. They become the role model. The concept of love develops from this. They see and experience love themselves, but also see this with their own family members. This is their foundation.
My First Concept Of Love Outside Of Family
I remember well, being in school and my first encounter with love, outside my family. It was my first crush. It was about the second grade. In my school days, our desk had a hole in it. This was in the ink well. We used the bottle of ink for writing and drawing. Linda sat in front of me and she made my heart beat faster. She was pretty.
I took a piece of paper and wrote her a message. I like you, do you like me? There were two boxes, one for Yes and one for No. Check one. I got the paper back and she checked Yes. Linda had beautiful long hair. It was always in a long pony tail. I took her pony tail and dipped it in the bottle of ink. It did not take long to find out Linda no longer liked me. Neither did her parents.
The teacher moved me across the room to another desk. I spent time standing with my nose in the corner. I was laughed at, by all the other students. I discovered there were consequences that come with love. Some consequences were good and some were bad. That was my first crush not my first love.
Your First Love
I have a few questions to ask you. Do you remember your first pet? What was the name of your first teacher? Your first school. But who was your FIRST LOVE? I think your mind just went back regardless of your age. That is one you never forget. Who was that boy or girl that captured your heart? Who was the first one that gave you the excitement and thrills you had not known? What is it that makes your first love special.
The first love is all new. It is fresh and different. This is a brand new experience for you. It is not the love of mom, dad or siblings. It makes you aware of who you are. Your feelings emerge in a new way. You feel you belong. You feel, you are wanted, accepted, and valued. Your feelings are so sensitive at this time. You want to be with this person all the time. Talk on the phone, socialize and just be together. Do everything together. You bond together.
Your first love becomes your world. It controls your thoughts, speech and actions. These new emotions and feeling can bring you to a state of ecstasy in many ways. You never want to let go of this feeling or the person. It can start with a flirt, a touch, a hug or a kiss. Did you get the butterflies in your stomach?
You are born into a family, you did not choose. You can pick and choose your friends, but you are STUCK with your family. Now you get to choose your love. You learn by watching friends and others. You see what they have and you want it. Now you can say, “I am in love, and I chose you!” Would I be wrong in saying, “First love is also First Choice?” I think it may be a new found freedom. I think this is what makes it special.
Your First Breakup
There is another reality with love. It is the opposite side of the love coin. It is hurt, pain, anguish and distress. Many call it heartache or heart break. This occurs when there is a break up. The dream is shattered. You feel betrayed and rejected. You feel crushed. When you make someone your world, then you world ends with the breakup. You feel like you are dying inside. You feel broken and empty. The bond is broken.
The father of a young girl told me, “My daughter just got dumped by her boyfriend. I don’t understand why she is acting so depressed. It was just infatuation, it was not real, it was puppy love.” I told him, “It may be puppy love, but it is REAL to the puppy!” Don’t underestimate the power of feelings and emotions.
We all go through puberty, adolescents and early adulthood. Our concepts of love change as we grow, mature and develop. More than likely, there will be many more dating relationships. This cycle continues into adulthood and into marriage. Breakups and divorce cause too much heartbreak. No one at any age is immune to pain, agony and heartache. We still have basic human needs and desires, at all ages.
What Motivates Us To Love
What is it about love that causes us to reach out to others? Is it the craving and desires of our feelings? A strong desire for continued affection, intimacy, passion or commitment? We all want it and need it. And we know the hurt and pain that can come with it. Is our quest for love a way to find the meaning of life?
The feelings of love will cause you to do things. Things you never dreamed you would do. Some good or some bad.
Here is something funny, I learned about love. You may not be able to say it or express love in words. But you always know how to feel it. Even babies do. They cannot speak, or talk until they learn. Babies will smile, make noises, laugh and jabber on. How do you know, they are not saying, “I love you with all my heart?”
I am older and I have seen the concept of love change in my lifetime. Our society has changed and brought with it new definitions and brands of love. In todays society, the physical and sexual brand of love prevails. I believe sex has become a substitute for what people are searching for.
I think everyone is searching for that one special person in their life. The one person that will give their life meaning. The one person they can say too, “I love you with all my heart.” They also search for the one that will say and feel the same way.
I believe love is within us at birth. We know feelings are, because babies cry. Feelings and love are developed and grow during our lifetime. We all experience the joy, pleasure, hurt and pain of love. Feelings are real and will never change. You cannot discard feelings. Knowing this, we still risk it. This is part of who we are.
Your thoughts, opinions and comments are welcome. If I can help you then please let me know.
This Post Has 2 Comments
Hi, you really made me think.
Everyone looks for that special one in their life… Yes and no. Yes, sometimes I miss not having found the love of my life. But I tend to meet men that are not happy with their life. I support them and help them – and when they are stronger they leave. Very often they try to return a few months later after they realize life still isn’t perfect. At the moment I feel it’s better to be alone. Until I have figured out why I keep falling for men to rescue I’m better off alone.
Thank you Marie for your comment. I agree with you. You have to protect yourself. Too many men and women will use another person just to get what they want then ditch you. It is ironic when they come back for a second helping. Then they hope you still have the feelings that will allow them to do it again.