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Here are the words to an old popular song that is appropriate for this article. It is called, “I did it my way.” This song was written by  Paul Anka in the 1960’s and made poplar by

Frank  Sinatra. It is still considered a classic by millions of people today.

“[Verse 1]

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

[Verse 2]
Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

[Verse 3]
Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

[Verse 4]
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

[Verse 5]
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way
Yes, it was my way.”

Many have bragged and boasted that “I did it my way.” And many have used this title to protray their very life, in best seller books. I am always amazed how people love and admire someone who became successful and proclaimed this statement. Some get the fame of going into the “Hall of Fame” where it is proclaimed, they shall be immortalized and live on forever. Just like celebrities, musical or sports stars and the super elite.

So, lets look at Mr. Sinatra’s life for a brief moment. Wikipedia says, “Francis Albert Sinatra (/sᵻˈnɑːtrə/; Italian: [siˈnaːtra]; December 12, 1915 – May 14, 1998) was an American singer, actor, and producer who was one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century. He is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, having sold more than 150 million records worldwide. Sinatra forged a highly successful career as a film actor. After winning an Academy Award.” He became one of the so called “stars” of Hollywood and the music industry. Despite his success, his life consisted of 4 broken marriages and 3 other engagements to other women. One of his claims to fame was his connection to “Mob Bosses” Mafia ties.

Wikipedia.org  further states, “Sinatra died with his wife at his side at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles on May 14, 1998, aged 82, after a heart attack. Sinatra had ill health during the last few years of his life, and was frequently hospitalized for heart and breathing problems, high blood pressure, pneumonia and bladder cancer. He was further diagnosed as having dementia. He had made no public appearances following a heart attack in February 1997. Sinatra’s wife encouraged him to “fight” while attempts were made to stabilize him, and his final words were, “I’m losing.” Sinatra’s daughter.”

“American music critic Robert Christgau referred to Sinatra as “the greatest singer of the 20th century”.[4] His popularity was later matched only by Elvis Presley, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson.[560] For Santopietro, Sinatra was the “greatest male pop singer in the history of America”,[561] who amassed “unprecedented power onscreen and off”, and “seemed to exemplify the common man, an ethnic twentieth-century American male who reached the ‘top of the heap’, yet never forgot his roots”. Santopietro argues that Sinatra created his own world, which he was able to dominate—his career was centered around power, perfecting the ability to capture an audience.”

Although Sinatra was linked to the Catholic church, he was not accepted because of his 4 divorces. “Sinatra didn’t necessarily take a positive view toward Christianity. He once said: “Christ is revered as the Prince of Peace, but more blood has been shed in His name than any other figure in history. You show me one step forward in the name of religion and I’ll show you a hundred retrogressions.” Mr. Sinatra chose to live life “On his own terms.” I cannot judge Frank Sinatra, I do not know what was in his heart at the end. I can only say, he had a Catholic funeral.

Thank you for sticking with me so far in the article. This article is NOT about Frank Sinatra, his life, or success. I have used him for an example of someone who had it all. I also use him for an example of his failures. There are things I hope you noticed that I quoted from reliable sources. His last words were, “I am losing.” His last words were not, “I did it my way.” In other words, he was not winning, which seemed to be his lifestyle and way of life. All of his great success did not stop him from all the physical diseases we all face. And in the end, “he did not have it his way,” with disease or death.


This is a new generation we live in today. I doubt seriously that many of today’s generation even recognize the name of Sinatra or even Elvis. So how has his immortality and recognition moved on? I think the man has been credited with fostering the total attitude of “Do it your way.” This attitude is still fostered today and always has been. He just helped push it farther than most. Just look at the so called “Stars” in Hollywood who have this same attitude and live by it. They are the elite that too many worship. They are said to have “Star Power” and command recognition and respect. To many stars think their opinions super cede the opinion of everyone else. It is really sad to see this new Political Correct generation, worshipping at the throne of Hollywood and the stars.

I decided to write this article when I saw another article from a man named Mel. Here is what Mel had to say, so I will post it. “Hi, my name is Mel. I am an author, researcher, philanthropist, and philosopher. I retired from corporate America two years ago. Boredom has lured me back online to help people. I like sharing my technical expertise and the other things rumbling about in my head. I live life “on my own terms.” and always will.”

Mel goes on to say that he is the boss, always has been and always will be. He takes no advice or crap from anyone. Mel considers himself to be the authority, and no one else has an opinion but his. He is a self made man in his own eyes, and has no need of nothing outside himself. Mel’s arrogance, pride and ego shows in his own writings and self proclaimed importance. His article, Own my own terms is the “epitome” of I did it my way.

Lets look at a few definitions of, “Own my own terms.” Daniel Eutergetes says, “In a nutshell, for example “Living life on my own terms” means: “in so doing, I assert complete control of what I do, how I do it, and why I do it that way.” Other dictionaries define this as, “According to YOUR conditions.”                 

I chose to write this article because 49 years ago I was this way. THIS WAS ME. I had the idea that I was a self-made man. I had a job a wife and one child at the time. I was going to live my own way and on my own conditions. I had a bad attitude that I did not need anyone’s help. I just happen to hate Christians, churches and preachers (now I am one). Little did I realize, there is no such thing as a self-made man. You and I are not in control of our entire life. I forgot the most important thing of all— GOD!

Here was my real problem. I was not arrogant towards family and friends. “MY ARROGANCE WAS TOWARDS GOD.” I had the arrogant and prideful attitude, that I could make it all on my own. When you reach this place in your life then, you are headed for a real fall.

When God brought me down, and laid me flat on my back, then I looked up. I said, “God, what are you doing to me?” God said, “It’s not me, it YOU. You have done this to yourself, I am simply stopping you and getting your attention.” Needless to say, He got my attention in a big way. I came to the realization that I was not in charge and not in control of my life or anyone else. I realized I did not control my own breathing or heart beat. One simple blood clot could kill me, and make me a vegetable for the rest of my life. No man is an island.

I took my warning seriously. God did get my attention and gave me a big dose of reality. I came to grips with my own life and mortality. I became a Christian and realized who God really is. God changed me and I have never been the same. I understood the last words of Frank Sinatra when he said, “I’M LOOSING.” But I lived, I did not die. Dear friend, in spite of all you do, accomplish or have in this life, You loose without God. It is all temporal and not eternal.

Do you realize there are things that God hates? Yes, God has a hate list. (Proverbs 6:16-19 KJV). “16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. Please notice the number 1 thing on God’s hate list is “PRIDE.” A proud look. This tops the list. This was the very sin that got Lucifer kicked out of heaven. Pride leads to rebellion and encompasses arrogance, ego and self-will.

This is CONTRARY to the very creator and the giver of life. God has dealt with many individuals and generations over the years, who had this self-will attitude. Judges 21:25 King James Version (KJV) 25 “In those days there was no king in Israel: every man did that which was right in his own eyes.” This is self will, pride and ego. We now live in a generation that says, “ITS ALL ABOUT ME.” Too many are wrapped up in their own little world they created. In this day of Political Correctness and Intolerance, this life style and attitude have grown.

Let me tell you what I see and what I hear in todays society. I have even heard this from relatives. ” I am me. I like who I am. I like what I do. I am not going to change for anyone. You take me or leave me for who I am or forget it. I have my own life and I am in control.” What are they saying? “On my own terms.” Pride is a killer and many do not recognize it. They do not understand this is a direct challenge to God. When you challenge God, you will always lose.

People become so wrapped up in their own life and little world, they cannot see past their own nose. Read this verse please. Proverbs 16:18 (KJV) “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” I have tried to tell many people Pride comes before a fall. When you fall or hit hard, go back and see where pride entered your life. That is where your fall or destruction started. God tries to tell us and warn us, but mankind is so self-centered, with self-will, they do not want to see it.


There are some lessons you learn in life the hard way. You can tell others about these lessons, but they will not understand unless they experience them. Unfortunately, they will learn these lessons come with a cost and pain. These same lessons apply to saints and sinners.  This scripture is used more than once in the Bible. Acts 10:34 (KJV). “Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons.” We may pick and choose our family and friends, we may have favorites, but God does not.

There is a principle in the Bible that says, Galatians 6:7 (KJV). “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” People say it another way today. “What goes around comes around. Some even call it “Karma.” But the Bible says, do not fool yourself, it is guaranteed. This principal applies to everyone, and it applies to good and bad. Simply put, “There are CONSEQUENCES” for every action.

If you live long enough, you will be in a crisis in this life. I counselled in homes for many years. I have seen a lot of crisis with individuals and families. A crisis will happen to Christians and lost people, none are exempt. I have seen people throw away their family, become suicidal, face prison time, alcohol or drug addiction and many more. What do most people say first? “Oh God NO.” Suddenly, they want God and His help. Now they need to be close to God. Here is a fair question. Where has God been in your life up until now?

Have you put God in the trunk, like a spare tire, then pull Him out when YOU need Him? What has been your relationship with the one you call God or Father? If you are a Christian, what have you done to serve Him? Have you even let God be real in your life? I have seen many do what I am about to describe.

The crisis will come and devastate. Then it will turn your world upside down. People will cry out to God, shed many tears with fear. There will be “Temporary Repentance.” They will make PROMISES to God. “Oh God, if you will just help me, forgive me, and get me through this, I will serve you. I will do what I have promised you before.” When the crisis is over, they forget all their promises to God they made. It is like, “Thank you God, I will holler when I need you again.” So, back in the closet or trunk God goes again.   

This is a very dangerous game to play with God. What does the Bible say about this? Ecclesiastes 5:5-6 (KJV) “5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. 6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?” Do you honestly think you can vow and make promises to God then just forget it-just forget Him? It is simply trying to use God for what you want. God does not forget!

God does not recognize anyone’s self-importance. You can think you are the god or king or queen of your life, I am my own authority, but you are not in full control. This is a real problem in dating, relationships and marriages. I keep hearing people say, “We are just incompatible.”  REALLY?
Here is a small piece of truth. Why do people (including Christians) never read their Bible? They do not want to be told what to do or what is right or wrong. They want to leave those determinations to themselves. I have never known anyone who won an argument or a debate with God. Do you really think God just accepts and looks over all of your excuses?

Too many people think they can bargain or manipulate God. You cannot bargain or obligate God into giving you what you want. It is NOT a smart thing challenge God. Pride is a direct challenge to God and His authority, JUST ASK SATAN ABOUT THAT.


I keep telling my family and friends one thing. The Lord is coming soon and I truly believe this. I keep telling everyone I know, “If you are ever going to serve the Lord, you better do it now. You need to let God be real in your life.” They listen and hear what I say, but I do not see them act upon it. Nothing changes in their life. Too many go along with their own life and live in their own little world. This is no time to play games with God.

I have heard many people ask, “Why doesn’t God bless me?” Serve God and you will be blessed, here and in eternity. If you are a Christian then you came to God His way. That was               through His son Jesus Christ, who is the only way. God did NOT set you free to sin, He set you free to serve and be blessed.  God sets the standard and it is “His Way.” God does not accept your way or on your own terms. And God has the right to set that standard.

I have talked about, “I did my way and On my own terms.” I talked about Pride and all that comes with it. I have shown how God hates pride and why. God hates self will. I talked about false promises we make to God and why it is dangerous to do that. I have talked about the crisis’ that will come in our lives and the things we do, and games we play with God. BUT WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT IT?

Proverbs 1:26-29 (KJV). “I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; 27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. 28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me: 29 For that they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord.” You will reap what you have sown.

There is a Spiritual principle in the Bible so here it is. “God always sent a warning before He sent judgement.” God will also sit back and watch, as you create your own crisis and destroy your life. This is serious business. Call this a warning if you will. If this is in your life than change it and know that God hates it. All the fun, games and even success in this life is temporal. Will you be ashamed when you face Him?  Without Him you will lose.

Your thoughts, opinions and comments are welcome here.  Leave comments below in the REPLY section on the bottom left side. RAY


This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Amber Rockwell

    Love your articles Ray…..so many hit home for me. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Ray

    Thank you for the kind words. Come back anytime or share the site with friends.

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